51 Ways 2 Annoy People

1) Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you ''like it that way.'' 2) Drum on every available surface. 3) Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 4) Staple papers in the middle of the page. 5) Phone the operator and ask for dates. 6) Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. 7) Specify that your drive-through order is ''to go.'' 8) Set alarms for random times. 9) Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavour off. 10) Honk and wave to strangers. 11) Dress only in clothes coloured hunter's Orange. 12) Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. 13) Tape over climactic parts of rental movies. 14) Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register. 15) dont use any punctuation 16) Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 17) Pay for your dinner with pennies. 18) Infact, pay for everything in pennies 19) Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 20) Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: ''Do you hear that?'' ''What?''"Never mind, it's gone now.'' 21) Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 22) Leave tips in Bolivian currency. 23) Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 24) At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. 25) As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 26) Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read. (This is especially effective on the train or bus) 27) Finish the 99 bottles of beer song. 28) Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 29) Try playing a song by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce ''No, wait, I messed it up'' and repeat. 30) Name your dog ''Dog.'' 31) Ask people what gender they are 32) Reply to everything someone says with ''Well that's what YOU think.'' 33) Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was "a real hoot''. 34) Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of air freshener. 35) Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as 'Amarillo' 36) Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 37) Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 38) Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A. 39) Moo when someone says your name 40) Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 41) Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 42) Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 43) Wear a LOT of cologne. 44) Sing along at the opera. 45) Finish all your sentences with the words''in accordance with the prophesy.'' 46) Scuff your feet on a dry, Shaggy carpet and seek out victims. 47) Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. 48) Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 49) Construct elaborate ''crop circles'' in your front lawn. 50) Stare at random people and say "You've lost weight" 51) When people try to talk to you, go "Shh I'm trying to listen"