One year ago....

One year ago today, May 1st, Daniel asked me to marry him.
I can't believe it's been a year already...but at the same time I feel like I've known him for forever.

A few people who read my blog have mentioned how I never wrote our engagement story on my blog, and that they were waiting for it. I was a little busy during my engagement and the beginning of our marriage to take the time to sit and write about those amazing but hard 2 weeks when I had the proposal. Because it has been a year, I decided to reflect back on my thoughts, look back at my journal, and write it out. For my sake mostly... but hopefully someone can be encouraged by it. And I'm so sorry about the length... I might have to divide this up in sections.


As I was reading my journal... I came across something I wrote about a month before I received my proposal... I think God was preparing my heart for the future.

April 9, 2012 - Lord, I pray that Thou would be with me as I finish my last month of school. Give me knowledge as I study my books and also energy and strength, and have a heart as doing it unto Thee. Guide and direct my life as I go on to the next step from college. If Gorenz is in Thy will for me, then let it be. If not, I pray you would provide a place. Whatever Thy will is, let it be done. If marriage is anytime in the near future, I pray I can have clear direction and do Thy will. I pray that you will provide a Godly, firm, stable, husband who will support me in what I do, and most imporatntly help me get to heaven.

Just to make it clear, I was totally content with my life. Marriage wasn't really on my mind at all. At all. I was too young anyway. I was focused on school, in the middle of finals, and anxious to see if I received a full-time job.

Then May 1st came along. Ron emailed me that evening and I went over to his house that same night. I was anxious, nervous, wondering who it was... oh the thoughts that went round and round my head on my way over there.
When Ron asked me if I wanted to know who it was... all I wanted to say was "YES!!! Hurry up!" But I thought I better not jump at it. After talking about it, we decided that it was probably best for me to know, because I was in the middle of finals... and I would probably let my mind wonder and wander as I tried to study.

When he told me he was from Roanoke, I told him I didn't even know anyone from there. Well sure enough, I sort of did. When he said Daniel L... I was shocked. I didn't know WHAT to think. I was pretty sure who he was, but couldn't put a clear picture in my mind. I knew some of his family though. I basically knew them from 4-H and the growing up days. But in more recent years, I had remember seeing Daniel a few times at ICC, but never had I talked to him. Once in the stairwell at ICC, we crossed paths, and said "Hi"... :) I didn't know what he was going to school for, how old he was, who his friends were... Nothing. As I left that night, all I could think was "WHY did he ask for me? I know he's young. He doesn't even know me... this will probably be a no."

I talked to my mom when I got home.... she had no idea who he was. We did a little facebook stalking so I could show her some pictures. Thank goodness I was friends with his sister and sister-in-law so I could see a few pictures! I wasn't even friends with Daniel. :) Mom advised me to just think it would be a "no" (because that was what I was already thinking...) and to wait to really seek it out. Wait until I made it through finals, and just pray for clear direction.

That night before bed, I prayed for clear direction, and to help my heart to be submissive to whatever was God's will. I also remember praying and thinking that I could see him first, and I also prayed that I could have feelings for him before it would ever be a "yes." I was feeling very overwhelmed. I opened up to a verse that gave me so much peace:

Ephesians 3:20 - Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that worketh in us.


....To be continued....